By Jenny Austin-Krzemien, Certified Concierge Care Advisor
As the oldest female child of aging parents with one younger brother, I am programmed to often take charge and spearhead projects. Sometimes I take on too much and I do not ask for assistance. I have been this way for most of my life and while it has been good in some ways, like travel and event planning, it isn’t helpful when I am the only one trying to help when my parents had COVID while on vacation in Alaska, for example. I needed assistance but felt like I could handle everything on my own at first. I soon got overloaded and overwhelmed and I finally reached out to family and friends to help me. I was about to start making poor decisions out of desperation and stress.
Sometimes I run into this when assisting with families who are looking for senior living for one of their parents. Most of the times it’s adult daughters who are assisting their parents and making all the decisions. Most of us have that desire to be the hero in our parent’s eyes- to show them we can help them when they need it the most. Imagine being a family caregiver for an ailing parent while reaching the limits of what you are capable of, and then trying to find a place for your mom or dad to move to. You may choose the first place you find because you are just so desperate and tired. You may not realize that the community you have chosen will not be able to accommodate a higher level of care as your parent’s needs increase. You may not realize that when they deplete their finances they will have to move out because they do not accept Medicaid.
It is difficult to ask for help sometimes. Often people do not know that the assistance exists. Often, by the time a person reaches out to me they are exhausted mentally, and they will say to me, I wish I had known about your services sooner. There have been many clients I’ve had to move out of one community into another due to the poor decision their family member made in haste. I wish I could prevent these things from happening, but I know from experience that we will always keep trying to help our parents the best we can even when it isn’t always the best outcome.
The most constructive thing I can do is spread the word about what we do at Concierge Care Advisors. I ask my clients to spread the word as well. Our services and advice do not cost a thing. If we can save a family the heartache of moving twice, we have done our due diligence!
