By Melanie Mosshart
We all look forward to the new year with hopeful anticipation. We’ve endured the holidays and now we tend to settle back into our regular routine: kids off to school, back to work, clean the house and get ready for the new year to come.
Sometimes, however, if we’ve had occasion to visit our parents or other senior loved ones in our lives over the holidays, we discover that they may be a little less vibrant, maybe even on the decline in terms of health. Often it leaves adult children with the daunting task of finding additional care or assisted living for the parents or seniors in their lives.
One reason I was thrilled to accept a position with Concierge Care Advisors was the opportunity to help and assist those who don’t really know which way to turn should they find Mom in the hospital with a broken hip and unable to live safely at home, or Dad not responding to ordinary conversation and unable to take care of himself. To be able to direct seniors or their adult children seeking help for them to the best possible resources in the region, (because we know who they are and what they can provide for those you love), is the reason I was compelled to take this position with this particular company. It’s our primary mission: to keep your loved ones safe and cared for by the experts, and I’m able to direct them to those experts.
I’ve been in the industry long enough to know the sad frustration of stubborn parents not wanting to move from the home they know and love. Change is hard. Change is denied. Change is rejected.
The story I’d like to share is one of three sisters and a brother, their parents, and Change. The three sisters were charged with finding a community for their parents. Dad was adamantly opposed. Refused to go on the tour and told his wife plainly she was NOT to deposit on any apartment in assisted living that the girls took her to. As a dutiful wife, she’d agreed not to deposit anywhere, but was amenable to going due to the insistence of her daughters and son.
When they toured the community presented, the daughters were thrilled, however Mom was recalling what her husband told her and was very reluctant to sign for the apartment, after all, she and her husband had a home and it was paid for. This place, however had all the amenities and care that the children wished for their parents, plus a lake view. They thought it the perfect fit, but now had to convince Mom and Dad that it was.
My job was to present the facts to Mom: she and her husband both needed assistance, there would be no more major housework for her, no more cooking unless they wanted to, and most important, the care and assistance was there, should there be a fall or worse, someone would be there to assist. The burden of caring for her husband or herself and the uncertainty was lifted. She signed.
What Dad didn’t realize was that his dementia was escalating and Mom was progressively more frail and incapable of the tasks she’d done for years. The challenge of course, was to present the new place in such a way that it would be more acceptable than living at home. Remarkably, Mom, after some deliberation, agreed to bring Dad back the next day to see the new apartment.
This is amusing: when Dad saw the place, met the staff, and saw the apartment, he was so delighted that he, himself expedited the move! They were both living there within the week. They are both living in a wonderful apartment with a view of the lake and more importantly, have the care they need. Case solved! Not all are cases, of course, end in such a manner, however, many of them do. It’s my job to ensure that I give my very best efforts see that it does.