By Shalane Farrell, Certified Advisor at Concierge Care Advisors
A few weeks ago I received a call from a son who was very anxious to find a new home for his mother because her care needs had increased substantially and the home where she was currently residing could no longer meet her healthcare requirements. The son told me he had become aware some time ago that she needed additional support; however, he did not want to put his mom through another move.
On top of this situation, his father had become very ill recently and was put on hospice. He decided to take the time he needed to be with his dad, and then address a move for his mom. His father unfortunately passed away a short time later, and he reached back out to address his mom’s care and housing. He explained that had been struggling trying to find a place that would accept his mom because of her behavioral issues. Whenever she was touched, moved, or transferred, she had a tendency to yell and get combative. The son wasn’t sure if she was truly in pain, or if it was her Dementia. He was opposed to medicating her to control these behavioral issues, fearing that she wouldn’t be able to speak to him when he visited her. I suggested that he have his mom get a gero-psych assessment to try to determine the cause of her anxiety each time she was touched. The son agreed to talk to her doctor and also to have his mom get a gero-Psych assessment.
Afterwards, we discussed the various types of housing, and I explained to him that I felt a memory care unit would be the best fit for his mom because she still enjoyed activities, liked to go on outings, and was very social. The son and I toured three memory care communities relatively close to him, and he liked all of them for various reasons. This was great news! The next step was to re-tour and with his mom at the top two he felt she would really like. A couple of days ago, the son called me to tell me that his mom had chosen a community and was going to be moving the next weekend. He thanked me for all of my help and going on the tours with him.
It is very stressful as an adult child to manage this for one parent alone, and it is doubly hard when trying to help two parents. This could have been much more stressful, and I feel privileged to have taken some of the stress and worry from him, and we are both extremely gratified to know that his mom is in a safe and fulfilling environment. I am sure his mom will be very happy with the community and thrive!
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