When Your Elder Doesn’t Deserve Senior Care
By: Kathy Kappler
It’s not common, but it happens. Sometimes there are elders who, for one reason or another, are alone and they reach out to us. Other times, there are elders that are isolated of their own accord; people who have pushed their loved ones out of their lives and now they need senior care.
These situations are relatively rare, and although many times they are left unresolved, there is a certain beauty to them. We’ve worked with estranged families that don’t want to be involved with their elder, but don’t want them to suffer either – that alone, requires a great deal of heart.
We say this often, but it bears repeating: every family (every situation) is different. And while one of the things that sets the Concierge Care Advisors apart from other senior care referral agencies is our sincere interest in our clients’ lives, we by no means need you to tell us why you’re not on good terms with your elder.
Finding Senior Care for an Estranged Elder
I had the pleasure of working with a woman whose father was verbally abusive and neglected her through much of her youth. However, when his funds started to run low, she put a plan in motion to help him without being present to help him.
Her father needed to be moved into an elderly housing facility, but she didn’t want to undergo any more abuse in a face-to-face confrontation now (years later).
As a result, she contacted me through her lawyer. They were familiar with our Samaritan Program and how we volunteer hours to help those elders with limited finances or in need of subsidized income. So together, the two of them commissioned me to find the proper elderly housing facility for her father.
Working with her was an absolute pleasure. She has grown into such a wonderful person and it shows through her actions. She no longer has an emotional connection to her father, but that didn’t stop her from doing what she felt was right.
In getting to know her as I did, I feel that this helped her gain some closure on her relationship with her father. Now he is in good hands and frankly she went beyond the call of duty. Many others in her situation probably wouldn’t have taken such measures, but she did.
Can Senior Care Find Closure
No doubt, finding senior housing for a loved one isn’t going to bring closure to everyone, but for some it might be just what you need.
When someone close to us dies, we often mourn because there was so much left unsaid… but to be fair, some of it doesn’t need to be said. If we follow the age-old mantra, “actions speak louder than words,” then helping your elder find senior care might be the last action you need to take to get that closure.
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