By Andrea Bloom, MSW, Director of Patient Care and Transitions at Concierge Care Advisors
I find myself often saying “where you are coming from is a place of love” to the primary caregivers, spouses, adult children, or anyone who cares for another. I am usually saying this because I understand why people are doing what they are doing from an emotional place, but they are not always doing what is best for the individual who they are caring for. What I mean by this is it is with good intentions families try to care for someone long after they should be doing this on their own. It takes multiple people to care for one person, and sometimes I find one daughter or son trying to care for their parent(s) and work and care for their own family as well. Or a spouse who is just as fragile as the person they are caring for, and one misstep and they will be on top of each other on the floor.
I understand they are doing this caring out love but often it is possibly creating a worse situation and not actually getting the individual the best care. Caregivers at Memory Care, Assisted Living and Adult Family Homes have training to care for people. Training that allows them to give the best care. When I had to place my infant in daycare, I was so sad initially. Until I realized how helpful it was. They had tools in their toolbox that I did not have. They had a different set of resources, and I learned a lot from them. It does take a village in all scenarios. Even with older adults-it takes a village.
Once they take the step to move forward to finding a higher level of care it is amazing to see the transition. The daughter becomes a daughter or a son a son again, the spouse a caring spouse who can just be there as loving without the stress. Because there is no way to be all of what you want to be when it usually takes multiple people. You will see there is a transitional period but once settled in, the family even feels cared for by the staff. People who go into the caregiving role as work have a special calling.